If you thought you were getting off the hook from any mosquito-naming blogs today, guess again, pal.
Duty calls when we have a new sniper on our hands.
Get a load of the Culex lactator.
It’s the latest invasive mosquito in a growing list of nonnative mosquitos making the treacherous flight from the tropics to South Florida, as detailed in the Tampa Bay Times this morning.
Its hallmark is a curved mouth and striped body for those already planning accordingly. Take your time, have another gander. It looks like the tripod from War of the Worlds got Ant-Manned into the Florida realm. We need to defend ourselves at all costs. Drape our homes in mosquito nets. Pimp our rides with citronella torches.
But the first step, the very first step, in protecting against any potential threat is giving it a proper calling card. Something catchy to strike a chord before swatting the bastard down. We can’t possibly reach for “Culex lactator” every time this thing rears a panic. The words would never come out right.
Which is why we’re taking initiative and laying the groundwork for you. Four useful nicknames for Tampa Bay’s soon-to-be-real nightmare, landing on a forearm near you.
Tator
Pros: Tator is all about efficiency. A quick alarm bell that doesn’t bring along all the convoluted, awkward baggage of “lactator.” You can almost hear the smack of the bug after shouting the word “tator!” It’s that effective.
Cons: Could get confusing if tater tots are present.
Tiger Mosquito
Pros: Utility is the name of the game here. A subtle hat tip to the Culex’s striped body that also signals a presence of danger. If your out on the boat, and someone says, “Look, a shark.” You’re first instinct is a calm, casual gander. If someone says, “Look, a tiger shark!” Now that initial look is coupled with an immediate recognition of danger.
Cons: Boring.
Milk Skeeter
Pros: Fun to shout. And while desperately immature, the humor in things could potentially calm the nerves before a stealthy strike back.
Cons: Maybe a little creepy.
Kool Moe Skeet
Pros: Sounds sick. Plays off both “Culex” and “mosquito” in a fun and efficient manner. Pays homage to one of the forerunners of hip-hop in the 1980s. A first in the long, storied history of naming insects, let alone naming anything.
Cons: Sounds suspiciously like what a mosquito would name itself to convince you not to kill it.