Article originally published on March 18, 2020.
It all seemed impossible mere weeks ago.
Yet here we are, a day after Colin Cowherd and Adam Schefter confirmed the news, it’s real.
Tom Brady—six-time Super Bowl champion, the greatest quarterback of all time—is going to play football for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers next season.
As a lifelong Bucs fan, this is unprecedented. And several immediate thoughts jump to mind:
Can Brady really lead us back to the Super Bowl? What does this mean for Jameis Winston? How in the world did Bruce Arians and Jason Licht pull this off?
But the one that has been rattling my imagination the most the past 24 hours:
What will it be like having Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen, two of the most iconic celebrities on earth, living and breathing and raising a family in our community? There are so many wonderful things I want to show them throughout the Tampa Bay area. And since it’s only inevitable that I run into Tom Brady and form an immediate, destined bond with him, I feel inclined to share all the good times I’m looking forward to in the next couple years.
Here’s all the things I can’t wait to do with Tom Brady around Tampa Bay. It’s going to be great:
I can’t wait to ride roller coasters with Tom Brady at Busch Gardens. I love the funny reaction shots they always show you once you’re off the ride, but I’ve never pulled the trigger on buying one. I feel like if it’s me and Tom though—laughing, screaming, holding hands maybe—I’ll definitely make a purchase.
I also can’t wait to show Tom around Adventure Island. As kids, we used to hang off the back of the larger tube rides and makeshift water ski down as much of the slide as possible. I’m looking forward to showing Tom and Gisele that neat little trick. And I’m looking forward to getting kicked out of the park with them afterward.
I can’t wait to have dinner with Tom Brady, Jeff Vinik, Bill Gates and Derek Jeter at Bern’s Steakhouse. We’re going to have a ball together. I’m still not exactly sure what it will look like after the social distancing blows over, but at the very least, we can probably say it will bear a strong resemblance to the prison dinner scene in Goodfellas. Just a real solid boys’ night—me hauling in the loot, Gates throwing too many onions in the sauce, Jetes cutting the garlic, Vinik on the meat, and Brady doing nothing because he’s Bucs Legend Tom Brady.
I also can’t wait to get an ice cream cone with Tom. Bern’s dessert room is great. But Chill Bros in Ybor City sounds like our best bet. Because if anyone’s going to make an avocado ice cream up to Tom Brady’s standards, it’s going to be the maniacal ice cream lords at Chill Bros.
I can’t wait to introduce Tom and the whole Brady family to Gasparilla. Tom knows a thing or two about parades, having been the main attraction at six of them. And he also knows his way around a colonial ship, having played for the Patriots. It will be interesting to see how good Brady is at catching pirate beads, and if he will give more to his wife, his kids, or me, his best and most loyal friend.
And while we’re on the subject, I very much can’t wait to catch some live music with Tom Brady at Gasparilla Music Festival next year. We will likely be fresh off our first Super Bowl in 19 years, which means Tom will be in excellent dancing form. Hopefully it’s a good lineup.
I can’t wait to just have a chill movie night with Tom Brady. We can do it at my house, sure, but I’m willing to bet he’ll have a nice home theater setup, or at least a big television. I’m cool with whatever. Your call, Tom.
For the Buccaneers’ sake, I can’t wait to take Tom Brady to the Florida Aquarium. He’s had his issues with Dolphins in the past, and I think a little visit to the aquarium might ease some qualms on that front.
Lastly, I can’t wait to go to the beach with Tom Brady. Just me and Tom, plopping down a couple towels on a hot day, cooler of ice-cold drinks in tow. Man, that is going to be so sweet.
I can’t wait to hang out with Tom Brady.