We spend a lot of time talking about affordable, independent but top-level food around here.
The delicious Bahn-mis and roast pork platters that keep us on the brighter side of life.
This article has none of that.
These menu items are gaudy. Luxurious. One-of-a-kind. Borderline offensive. Consider it the Reverse Three Surefire Meals for $10 or Less Around Tampa Bay. In fact, just go ahead and read the rest of this in the British voiceover from VH1’s “The Fabulous Life.”
Will these dishes cost you an arm and a leg?
Yes. But you don’t really need those to eat anyway.
Premium Sashimi Platter, $75 | Noble Rice
Channelside, Tampa
The sushi lords at Noble Rice don’t shy away from opulence. Our advice: fork up the cash and trust them to pick the best of the fresh for you.
100 Day Dry-Aged Delmonico, $96 | Bern’s Steakhouse
South Tampa
OK, so the entire Bern’s experience is a bit of a splurge. But you knew that going into it. If you haven’t already blown your week’s pay on a seafood tower, go big with the 14-oz Delmonico.
Chef’s Grand Tasting Menu, $185 | Il Ritorno
Downtown St. Pete
The best of the day’s immaculate spread at one of St. Pete’s most heralded fine dining establishments. No beach attire, please.
White Truffle Lobster Risotto, $48 | The Black Pearl
Dunedin
You already know what time it is when you see the words truffle, lobster and risotto all in the same menu item.
Charley’s Ultimate Surf & Turf for Two, $230 | Charley’s Steakhouse
Tampa
This is the order in which the entire restaurant claps as your colossal lobster tail and 50-oz porterhouse is wheeled out to the table.
Smoking Shellfish Tower, Mkt | Ocean Prime
International Plaza, Tampa
The Chrysler Building of Tampa Bay seafood towers, these crustaceans are pleased to serve you.
Ghost Horse Cabernet 2011, Fantome, St. Helena; $3,000 | Bern’s Steakhouse
South Tampa
“Honey, please don’t tell me you spent our entire life’s savings on the 2011 Ghost Horse again.”